What a Week!!!!

Mark and I found out earlier this week from our agency that if we want a healthy child it could take up to three years. What?! Why does it have to take so long? That means Summer will be almost 8 or 9 years old. I never wanted them to be this far apart in age. I want them kinda close so they can play with each other. It doesn't make sense to have to wait that long for a child to become part of your family.

My social worker contacted me to see if we would like to get a little boy on the waiting list. Which means we could get him soon. I asked to see him and his medical history. He is three years old and so cute. He was born prematurely and does have some mild development delays and language delays. I talked with Mark and he was kinda interested in him. Mark said from the very beginning that he only wanted a girl not a boy. I guess he has changed his mind when he saw his picture. Who knows what is going to happen.

Yesterday my social worker called me to tell me that two other families were interested in this little boy. Should have known we weren't the only ones. She wants us to get the medical records and take them to an international adoption pediatrician to see how healthy he truly is. We need to let her know soon so we can put our name out there for the birth parents to pick out of us three. Great!!! Now we have the birth parents picking for their child that they gave up when he was a baby fighting for his life. Come to find out the birth mom drank and smoked during her pregnancy with him. I am not mad at them; I just don't think they should have a say in this. Well, I guess I am kinda mad!!!!

So today I went to the pediatrician and dropped off the medical records. Hope to hear something first thing in the morning. I guess we will see what happens if we put our name out there for the picking.

I never planned on trying for a boy. We thought we would get a girl and call her Mia. And we might still be getting Mia. This might just be something else to slow us down and try to get us frustrated. Going through an adoption is very frustrating, because you have no control in what and went things happen. This is very hard for me. I like for everything to be in order and in some type of control. Not with this!!! We have the bedroom done for Summer and Mia to sleep in. Very fairy like. We will just have to change some things around if we are chosen for this little boy. Mark and I have always liked the name Connor and will call him that. All we can do is move forward and if it doesn't happen then Mia is still out there somewhere waiting.

All I can do is pray that we are doing what God wants us to do. if He wants us to get Connor then we will. if He wants us to get Mia then we will. It is hard with the timeline of when things happen. I need to let that go and let Him take control of it.I am trying everyday to let go little by little.